1. Uhh, neither.
2. Please stop breeding.
3. Thanks for the support God.
4. Color was invented by Disney!?
5. Too many sexual orientations nowadays to keep up with.
6. Smart baby.
7. Damn bees defying gravity.
8. Yeah but only if you are a vampire.
9. Got stuck in the lower intestines probably.
10. Mmmm, jelly beans.
11. I will never go to Canada now.
12. Friend envy.
13. She definitely was cheating on you bro.
14. Your printer is obviously broken.
15. The world may never know.
16. Another great parent.
17. All the best diet advice can be found on Yahoo Answers.
18. Spoiler alert: Jesus is the Easter Bunny.
19. I think it would still ruin your eyes.
20. Sir Mix-a-Lot would not approve.
22. OK this one is actually sort of intriguing.
23. Actually, you are an idiot.
24. Run Forest run!
25. With magic.
26. Poor dog.
27. Yes, you should go see a psychologist immediately.